It has been rather a long time since I have blogged. Especially since it was my ‘new thing to do’. My last blog was in March! This has been mainly because of the topic of this blog, my favourite….anxiety and depression.
I really want to raise awareness of the limited resources out there for people in a similar situation. Having initially been written off from work in March 2017 I have been on endless NHS waiting lists with limited help.
I do appreciate there is much more awareness of mental health these days and living in Cambridgeshire I was perhaps lucky enough to be able to self refer myself through the CPFT (CPFT Psychological Wellbeing Service). Which is all online and you then receive a phone call for an assessment. Initially I was offered an online course based around CBT, I did not find this helpful and was referred to the ‘next level’.
There was however a waiting list for this where they offered 12 sessions one to one with a therapist. 3 months after I was referred (and struggling in the meantime including harming myself) I finally got one-on-one appointments.
This again was not quite what I was expecting, it was again very CBT related and focused on overcoming your issues head on. While it is a proven method of overcoming depression and anxiety, it in effect made me worry more about going. Thus the inevitable happened and I got worse. Due to me letting the therapist know about this she referred me to yet another ‘level’.
The month is now November 2017 and I still haven’t received the help that I think I need. Thinking that being referred up again would finally make me feel better I had to wait another 2 months before seeing someone here. Even though this was meant to be for more severe cases. The doctor I saw here was very nice and approachable and they changed my medication. I became a little more optimistic.
However, this turned out to be more of a monthly catch up meeting to see how I was doing. No counselling or weekly sessions. I was offered a peer support worker to help me go out to appointments and recovery college. However, part of my issue is socialising and new people, so yet again this was not helpful.
After a few months of this, my partner began to question what it was they were actually helping me with as I still was experiencing problems. He came with me into a session where it came to light (without even my knowledge) that their ‘plan’ for me was new medication and the peer support worker. Either that or the other option was to hospitalise me, which we thought was too severe an option.
The realisation then came to me the best option will be to pay for counselling myself. I am not rich at all, which is why it took me so long to make this decision. I have now been going to counselling for the past couple of weeks and feel much more optimistic.
I wish I had done this to begin with. From my personal experience there needs to be more money available for mental health on the NHS. It’s a long-term condition that needs more than 6-12 sessions to help deal with.
I do apologise for the long blog post….I just feel the medical condition of depression and anxiety is very under-rated and under funded.